BEAUTY FOR ASHES

Can you even begin to comprehend the depth of beauty coming from ashes? The healing that comes from the hurting? Can you see the bursting forth of newness from the rubble of destitution?

Sitting in that thought process is beyond difficult to do when you are buried under the ashes.

I have been on a 7 year journey - a journey that is finally seeing the redemption of healing. I am watching God trade my ashes for beauty in so many different ways - ways that speak to my unique soul. Ways that are so personal that the change seems indescribable or that if I were to try to explain the beauty, the affect would not be as powerful because of the personal depth of darkness that I experienced. It is a journey of found peace, empathy and understanding amongst chaos, hurt and sadness.

Sit with the statement from a moment: There is beauty and greatness behind every mark of darkness.

BEAUTY comes from the darkness.

If nothing else, allow that to sit with you as assurance, that no destructive force in our lives is far from the healing beauty that God can create. It is a promise with beauty for ashes empowerment, we are able to find emotional and mental strength to continue to move, to seek out help, to find healing, to encourage others. In its simple form, it gives hope.

I have walked through some of the darkest years in the last 7 years of my life.

Dark depression.

Suicidal ideations.

Debilitating anxiety.

Chronic stress.

Broken marriage.

Guilt.

Shame.

Major illness.

Loneliness.

Out of the ashes has come beauty. Out of the hurt has come empathy. Out of the depression has come happiness and finding ways to overcome the debilitation of depression, the ability to see things differently, the reverence to continue to know that growth is happening in the darkness of a spiritual winter. Out of the suicidal ideations + planned suicide has come an understanding of my worth, of knowing my value or seeing that I am worthy of a beautiful life. Out of the anxiety has come a grounding and breath work practice. Out of the stress has come an intentional slowing down and an embrace of letting go of the things that I have no control over. Out of the broken marriage has come healing, intentional pursuit and working towards healthiness in our relationship. Out of the guilt comes self respect. Out of the shame comes embracing who I am as a person and who I was created to embody. Out of the illness has come understanding of what my body needs and knowing that I am capable of doing it - even if it is the baby steps it takes to get there. Out of the loneliness comes the ability to sit within the walls of that loneliness and see Jesus.

Out of whatever happens will come beauty. It is about embracing the journey of beauty that emerges from the ashes.

All of this change, it is beauty.